Merlin struggles to understand
by GeorgiaPhan
Summary: Merlin thinks Arthur was just plain drunk when he touches his thigh, and did not know that Arthur had meant to, and has always had a huge thing for him :p xx hope you guys like it x feel free to message me if you have any comments or ideas, or review! lotsa luv x Georgia Phan x
1. Merlin struggles to understand

Merlin was sick of cleaning and polishing Arthur's armour and boots. He decided that it was time to confront his slave-driver/friend/best friend/son of the

King of Camelot.

He took the armour, and walked to Arthur's chamber's with purpose and pride.

He rapped twice on the door, and waited for the usual grunt. There was no reply.

Merlin opened the door slowly, and peered in. Arthur was nowhere to be seen. This worried Merlin, naturally, as Arthur would only do any exercise (i.e

walking out of his chamber) if it was for an important or critical military situation.

Merlin decided to confront his annoyance surrounding his job later, and put the armour back in his chamber before going out to find Arthur.

He looked in the Great Hall. The servants chambers (he wasnt sure why... but it had to be checked). Morgana's chambers. The King's chambers. The

kitchen. Even the many corridors and hallways all around the castle.

Merlin could only see one other possible solution, so begrudgingly made his way to the tavern.

'Surprise surprise.' Merlin thought to himself, as he found Arthur drunkedly betting with a few other knights.

"Sir. You are needed back at the castle." Merlin lied through his teeth.

Arthur laughed, and made no effort to get up or even acknowledge Merlin's existence. "Dont be a fool Merlin." He smirked. "No one needs me at this

time of night... well not anyone in the castle anyway" Arthur looked knowingly at Gwain - who was sat next to him - and laughed at his own joke.

Merlin shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably and then decided what he had to do. He flexed his hand slowly, careful not to draw any attention

to himself. His eyes flashed golden, and Merlin cast them to the floor to hide this.

Almost immediatly, the tavern's tables were all in flames. No other part of it was, and the fire was not spreading either.

Arthur stood up, gave his order' s to his men, and trudged out with Merlin. The sound of water was heard as the two made their way back to the castle.

Arthur could not walk solo, and had to be half carried, half dragged back to his chambers.

Merlin lowered him down on his four poster bed, and removed his shoes, shirt and trousers. He decided that was enough, as he thought Arthur would not

like it if he stripped him down.

Arthur, who was thought to be asleep or had passed out, was fully conscious and aware of this, and he did not know how to react.

On one hand, he could not believe Merlin had undressed him, and on the other he was disappointed Merlin had not fully.

Pretending to be asleep, Arthur lolloped his hand onto Merlins thigh, as Merlin had started to get up and walk away.

Merlin gasped, and remained still for a few moments. He could not understand this, as he had loved Arthur for so long, and had reached the conclusion

that nothing would ever become of it.

Eventually, Merlin managed to stand up and walk out, shrugging it off as he did not, obviously, know Arthur had meant to do such a thing.


	2. Dear Potato Brain

The next morning Merlin was up even earlier than usual, and made his way down to the kitchen to help himself to some pie.

He knew a few of the kitchen girls, and was uncomfortably aware that they were 'fond' of him, but used this as a method of providing himself with extra

food. As he always thought to himself, he did need the extra energy for putting up with the arrogant cabbage-head named Arthur.

As he walked back up to his chambers to fully dress - as was only in his tunic ; much to the kitchen girls' delight - and pondered over the events of the

previous night.

He remembered the warm feeling he got from Arthur's touch, but decided to hide this as it would jeapordise not only his job, but also his friendship.

However, when he got to his chambers, he found Arthur standing, with a purpose, waiting for him. Arthur smirked as he saw Merlin half dressed, but

surpessed the erge to mock him further.

"Merlin. I have a very important task for you. I trust you wholly, and you are indeed the only one with whom I would place this amount of trust." Arthur

proclaimed, with a serious look upon his face.

Merlin's heart swelled with pride, as he could not believe that Arthur would put such an important task - or what seemed so - on him, and waited for

further instructions.

"You will find all you need in the basement." Arthur said as he walked off, hiding a smile full of glee.

Merlin swaggered down to the basement, filled with self appreciation and awe.

However, when he saw the contents of the basket in the basement, his heart sank. There was a note that read _' Dear Potato Brain. As you disturbed my _

_enjoyment the previous night, you must now do these errands for me and other members of this castle. I checked up on Guis, and he informed me he was _

_running low on Mugwort. Morgana asked for a few handfuls of Achillea, the King requested some Rue for his eyesight. Pick up some Marjoram for me. Use _

_the basket. And for the sake of Camelot, don't get hurt.'_

Merlin sighed but continued out into the forest, completely unaware of the mysterious hooded figure who had followed him since he returned from the

kitchens.

_I have to admit that I had to do alot of research for this chapter! Basements were used in medieval castles; Mugwort is a weedy perrenial and was used in _

_foot ointments, a charm for travellers and was also used in treating women's ailments; Achillea (also known as Yarrow) was a fringey perennial with many_

_parter flowers and was used to treat headaches, dog bites and other wounds, Rue ( :'( *cries for THG*) was a sour-smelling perennial with rounded leaves, _

_and was often used as a holy water sprinkler, it is also used to treat eyesight; and Marjoram was a tender perennial used in spiced wine, brewing beer, _

_cooking, and to 'comfort' the stomach (i.e Arthur had eaten too much and needed it to calm his stomach)._

_Please tell me whether this is all ok, and what you would like to be included at any point :P )_

_Lotsa luv x GeorgiaPhan_


	3. Stranger in the Clearing

It took Merlin a while to collect just a handful of Mugwort, as it's flat leaves shared a  
>likeness with many useless herbs which adorned the clearing. Yarrow stood out in amongst the<br>dull greens and browns of the grasses, as it's small beaded white, pink and yellow sprinkled flowers  
>shone through; Merlin could collect these easily. Marjoram shared this colourful and extravagant<br>look, as it's strong purple was instantly recognisable. However, the Rue had not flowered yet, so  
>instead of their yellow, overpowering colours, it simply had a green spongey look to it, which<br>blended in with the masses of moss surrounding the whole woodland. It took Merlin several hours  
>to collect what he thought was enough to satisfy Arthur's annoying revenge, and made his way back<br>to the castle on his brown mare.  
>A few miles from the clearing, Merlin rode past a woman who had fallen in the ditch. He immedietly<br>attempted to turn his horse, but was thrown off indignantly.  
>He managed to recover quickly, brushed himself off and held out his hand to assist her. He thought<br>it strange as she was wearing a long navy cloak of satin, from what he could see she was dressed in  
>a velvet gown and slippers, and was standing, almost waiting, in a ditch.<br>Nevertheless, Merlin pulled her up and out.  
>"Merlin!" A voice shrieked "Merlin get away from her!"<br>He went to turn and see who this voice belonged to, but was thrown by a hard and heavy force, into  
>a nearby tree. Merlin saw stars, and went to stand up but could not gather the strength.<br>He was shoved and dragged upright by a strong and muscular arm, which wore the Camelot armour  
>and crest.<br>Slowly, he put weight on his own two feet and stood up without the support.  
>Opening his eyes, he saw that the saviour was Lancelot. He winked at Merlin, and shrugged "She<br>followed you from the castle. I knew you..." He gestured to Merlin, as Merlin summoned enough  
>strength to raise his eyebrow sarcasticly at him "... would not have noticed."<br>"What do you mean by she?" Merlin mumbled, remembering the well dressed woman he assisted,  
>then he realised he had not even seen her face.<br>That was when his memory jolted. He had not seen her face... but she had had flowing golden hair...  
>as bright as the sun.. who did that remind him of? Who did that remind him of... Merlin stood still<br>for a few moments, angry with himself for loss of such an important clue.  
>There was no need for the clue. He realised all too late, as he heard the vicious laugh and cruel<br>voice of a sworn enemy.  
>"Oh little warlock." The woman smirked, throwing her hair back from her face. "Did you miss me?"<br>The sun's rays shone on her dazzling features, that face that looked like it was carved by an angel.  
>But that beauty came with a twisted feature. A twisted, evil and corrupt one at that.<br>Merlin walked to paces forward, and looked straight into the eyes of Morgause.


	4. Death is not enough for what '

Merlin stared into the eyes. He stared deep into the cruel blue eyes. The eyes  
>that have haunted him in every waking moment, and every nightmare of a dream. They<br>burn into your soul, into your conscience, into every essence of you. They burn.  
>She stood like a figure of marble, cold and with a sheen upon her white skin.<br>She was Morgause. And she was here to fight to the death.  
>Merlin continued to look deep into her eyes, and, hiding his plans from those<br>watchful and intrusive eyes, he did so for what seemed like hours.  
>Breaking the stare, he flicked his eyes towards Lancelot's blade and whispered,<br>hoping that Morgause was at a safe enough distance to not be overheard. "Bregdan anweald  
>gafeluc!" He glanced quickly into Lancelot's hazel and eyes and nodded.<br>Lancelot knew what to do. He charged, thrusting his sword towards Morgause's  
>chest, laden with jewels and enchanted stones.<br>Morgause just flicked her fingers, and her eyes glowed aureate. "Wáce ierlic!" Lancelot flew into the  
>nearby oak. A crack was heard, and he lay silent.<br>Slowly, Merlin turned to look at him, wary of Morgause. He watched Lancelot's chest rise  
>and fall rhythmically thrice over, and turned back to her.<br>"You disappoint me warlock. You thought I would be beaten by a mere Camelot knight, with  
>an enchanted blade, thrusting it around like a child's toy?" She flicked her silky hair from her rounded<br>porcelain face, wearing a smile of scorn "I am a High Priestess! Surely you know only someone of true  
>magic and strength can defeat me."<br>"You disappoint yourself Morgause." Merlin spat her name, as if it nauseated himself to  
>even utter such a word "I simply knew you would safely dispose of him. He can be... a<br>distraction."  
>Morgause looked pained as Merlin continued "I have beaten you before we have even began,<br>witch."  
>She slowly raised her arms above her head in acceptance of a duel.<br>Merlin lowered his eyes and took a few breaths to calm himself and overcome his fears.  
>He looked up to see Morgause's eyes flash aureate. It had begun.<br>"Forbærne yfel!" Flames rained down on Merlin, and he dived out of the way. However, they  
>followed and engulfed him. Standing back up, he stood there like a burning angel, waiting for<br>the flames to scorch through his skin. They made no mark. For a few seconds he was speechless,  
>confused and bewildered with the purpose of Morgause's enchantment.<br>Then the pain hit. The flames were in his head, excruciating, causing him to pull at his hair, to  
>cradle his head in his arms.<br>Then it stopped.  
>Merlin looked up at Morgause who towered above him with the look of accomplishment.<br>"Why did you stop it? Why did you stop?" He stuttered, slowly lowering his hands from his hair,  
>unclenching his fists, full of his own hair.<br>"What fun is a toy if you break it straight off?" She jeered.  
>Merlin got up from his knees and whimpered. Morgause laughed, but did not see his grin,<br>and his eyes flash gold once more.  
>"Strangath" He whispered, causing the glowing amber amulet at Morgause's neck soar towards<br>his open hand. With this in his hand, he disappeared and then reappeared directly behind her:  
>"You don't", he appeared on the branch above her head, "deserve to" then by Lancelot's body, "be" in the centre<br>of the clearing, "a" back to Lancelot's body (picked up his sword), "High" back where he stood previously,  
>"Priestess" he appeared behind her once more. Driving the sword into her side, she crumpled onto the<br>grassy floor.  
>He walked over to where Lancelot's body lay, and said "Deffro gwella ac anghofio". Lancelot awoke and<br>staggered up, puzzled by his whereabouts.  
>"Why.. am I here Merlin?" He said, with the characteristics of a lost and lonely child.<br>"Ssshh. You spent a night in the tavern. Lets go back to the castle."  
>Lancelot had made his way to the brown mare, and mounted.<br>Merlin held two fingers to Morgause's mouth, feeling for a breath.  
>A faint whisp of breath hit his fingers, and Morgause rasped "Just kill me now" She wheezed<br>"Don't leave me here."  
>Merlin brought his mouth to her ear and whispered "Death is not enough for what you have done, and who you<br>have become."  
>"Curse you warlock. " She gasped, her chest rising and falling slower and slower.<br>"Don't curse what you can't handle." Merlin said softly, as he turned and picked up the basket of herbs,  
>for which he had journeyed into the forest in the first place.<br>It took two hours to return to the castle, as Lancelot had left him with the horse.  
>He visited the King's chambers with the handful of Rue. "Sire. You required some of this?" Merlin asked.<br>"I required nothing of the sort!" Uther retorted and turned back to his maps and scrolls.  
>He then visited Morgana with the handful of Achillea. Sourly - as he was aware of her connection to the<br>witch - he muttered "You required some of this?" Merlin asked.  
>"I required nothing of the sort, you fool!" Morgana spat, and turned back to choosing a pendant to wear.<br>He visited Gaius's chambers, a little uncomfortable, with the handful of Mugwort "Please tell me you wanted some of  
>this?" Merlin sighed.<br>"Merlin! I wanted nothing of the sort! I replaced my supply yesterday."  
>Merlin trudged up to Arthur's chambers, full of annoyance. "Marjoram sire?" Arthur looked up with a huge grin<br>on his face and answered "Merlin! Where have you been? My boots need polishing, so does my armour and  
>you need to brew my Marjoram." Arthur chuckled "Yes. I already had some, you cabbage head."<br>Merlin stormed out of his chambers ad cursed under his breath "baw lenwi eich esgidiau"  
>He laughed as he heard Arthur shout "MERLIN! COME AND CLEAR THIS UP YOU POTATO BRAIN!"<br>'Atleast he didn't know I did it...' he thought to himself as he walked back up and saw Arthur  
>pour buckets of sloppy mud out of his shoes.<p>

The spells and enchantments used are official (used in the Merlin episodes), or are in Welsh - the  
>closest language to the 'old religion' is so.<br>(baw lenwi eich esgidiau - dirt fill your shoes)


	5. Sleeping with Arthur

_It has been a week_

"Merlin... Where's my supper?" Arthur called from his chambers, where he had been for almost 2 days.

"Sire, it is in the Great Hall. All you have to do is walk!" Merlin called back, confident, from his chamber.

"MERLIN! DIN'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! I'LL HAVE YOU FIRED!" Arthur shouted.

"Naw sire! What would you do without me! Anyway, you have tried that before and you wanted me back within 2 hours."

"MERLIN... don't push me." Arthur said gloomily, trudging up from his seat to eat in the Great Hall.

Merlin sighed. Sometimes, he just wished he could be himself. No more hiding, no more lies, no more sneaking around. 'But then again, I would be killed for it. Not exactly a price I am willing to pay.' He thought to himself, as he walked to Arthur's chamber to clean.

Whilst he was scrubbing the floor, he whispered "man lle y dylid eu gosod" and the shirts, boots, belts, maps, scrolls and blankets were reallocated to their rightful places.

"Merlin?" Arthur came in through the door.

Merlin's heart pounded 'I'm dead. I'm dead. He's going to kill me. I'm going to be burned.. hanged... I'm dead' He thought. "Yes sire?" He asked slowly, gulping.

"How did you do this so quickly?" Arthur gestured around the room.

Merlin collapsed onto his knees, in relief more than anything else.

"Merlin?" Arthur walked over to him and placed his hand on his cheek, cupping his face. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. I'm fine." He answered, but Arthur refused to take that as an answer.

"Come on. You're resting. He supported him to his chambers, laying him down on the bed.

"Sire! I insist! I am well!" Merlin went to get up.

"Nonsense. You're staying here until tomorrow noon."

Arthur brushed Merlin's hair out of his face gently, then swiftly left the room. "i'll be back to check on you." He announced from the corridor outside. "Giaus will make sure you do not get up. Now rest!" He commanded.

Merlin did as he was told, but used his magic to get a few jobs he had left done.

As Arthur promised, he returned later that night, adamant that Merlin must sleep in his room.

So Merlin did just that.

Close to midnight, he awoke to feel Arthur's body next to him. Arthur's hand was resting on his hip, his other on his hair. He was breathing softly, the breath tickling the back of Merlin's neck.

"Merlin... Don't... leave me..." Arthur said fretfully, in some sort of a nightmare.

Merlin turned and did something he had always wanted to do. He held Arthur in his arms, rocking him. He whispered "I'm here. I'm never going to leave you. I'm here."

And that is where they stayed.


	6. Revenge? Part 1

It has been less than a week since Arthur slept with Merlin.

Merlin was walking past shelf after shelf, trying to find the right scroll.

He was looking for the document on the treatment of magic, trying to work out whether there was anyway of surviving if Arthur ever found out.

Once he had found the scroll, which was worn and ripped in places - as if it had been read over many a time - he strolled back to his chamber.

On his way, he was stopped by Arthur.

"What you up to Merlin?" Arthur asked playfully as he grabbed the paper out of Merlin's grasp. "Why have you got this?" He asked, confused, once he had read the scroll.

'Cabbage' Merlin thought to himself, and said "Umm.. no reason at all sire. Just, having a little read." He shifted uncomfortably, which gave himself away.

"You really are a potato brain, you know that Merlin?" Arthur laughed "you are such a poor liar. Now explain." Arthur said, sharply.

"I.. I heard a rumour that there was... a witch.. in town." He hoped his lie was fool proof this time.

It proved to be so, when Arthur quizzed him further. "Where?" He asked. "Who did you hear this from?"

Merlin became more and more uncomfortable, as he knew that one step out of line would place others in grave danger. The others would most likely be 'innocent' also.

Then, he had an idea.

"She was rumoured to be in the woods. Injured, as she was attacked.. well.. I mean someone tried to kill her because of her.. 'individuality'." Merlin spoke carefully, with some remorse. "Supposedly she has blonde hair, like gold. And blue eyes." He described Morgause as vividly as he could. "Her injury is rumoured to be in her side."

Merlin walked quickly away, after finishing, fearful that Arthur would see the tear that slowly rolled down his cheek.

He felt stupid, too full of emotions for such an evil soul.

But she was still like him, in some ways, and she should still be allowed to live.

Whatever the cost.

'Oh... bollocks' Merlin thoguht to himself, and turned swiftly around to run after Arthur, who had walked in the opposite direction. "Arthur! ARTHUR! She is dangerous!"

Luckily, Arthur had not walked far, and heard Merlin.

"Sire! Take me with you."

Arthur replied with a laugh, a little too harsh. "What makes you think you would be any use, if she is supposedly so dangerous?" He asked scornfully.

Then, with an apologetic look splashed across his face, he said softly "You are to stay here Merlin. Stay safe. Within the castle walls. Do I have you word?"

Merlin looked down to the floor and quietly grumbled "You have my word." before walking off to his chambers.

He collected a cloak, dagger and poison.

There was no way he would stay in the castle, especially not if Arthur was in danger of getting hurt.

And especially if, if Arthur was maimed or even killed, it would be all his fault..


	7. Revenge? Part Two

Merlin watched Arthur round up Lancelot, Gwaine, Leon and Percival, before taking them to the stable to inform them of their 'quest'. He waited until each and every knight had ridden off into the distance, before mounting his own brown mare. Merlin ensured he could see the last horse, but was not close enough to be seen himself. If he was seen, he knew Arthur would have him escorted, by a knight, straight back to the castle. Just before the clearing, Merlin got off his horse and secured it to a nearby tree. Through the trees, he could see the knights' horses, so did not want to get too close. He crept up, to the edge of the grove, and watched the knights search. He knew that Morgause, though was powerful, would not have got far. "Chwilio" He whispered, stretching his arm out, and his eyes flashed golden. The spell was to search for her, and just by looking into the forest, Merlin could see for miles. He found her, roughly a quarter of a mile away, and she was lying on the ground. Blood was drenched in her gown, her hair in tangles. She looked weak, weaker than he had ever seen. Merlin paced silently, trying to think of a way to draw the knights' attention to her. Then, he had an idea. "Bael on bryne." He whispered again, this caused a pile of sticks near to Morgause set alight, and it steadily grew into a fire. It took less than a few minutes after the fire grew strong for Arthur to notice the rising smoke, and the five knights made their way over to it, with Merlin not too far behind. As soon as the knights' got within 10 yards of Morgause, her blue eyes snapped open and they turned an immediate gold. Leon was thrown back into a bush of vicious bramble; Gwaine's cape was burning with a green, horrid smelling flame; Percival was pushed back into a tree and Lancelot was dragged, by his feet, towards Morgause. She held him, by the neck, so they were both facing Arthur. "Hello there knight." She cackled "We seem to have met before. You were with the pretty warlo..." Morgause was not given time to continue as Merlin's eyes flashed golden again. The branch above Morgause's head fell with a crack. She managed to dive out of the way, with Lancelot, before it hit her, but her ankle was trapped underneath the weight. "He is here." She hissed through her teeth, but did not stop to remove her leg, as Arthur charged at her. She sent him flying with a short flick of her fingers, her eyes flashed their golden colour quickly. "You are a fool." She exclaimed "they do not know you. Trust you. They will kill you, just like they will do me one day. You are like me Warlock. You are not safe in Camelot. Neither of us are." She was looking around, searching for him, aware that he was close. Thinking fast, he sent other branches hurtling towards her head, but she deflected them and sent them soaring towards Arthur's. Merlin, unable to create a threat to Morgause and protect Arthur at the same time, made each and every branch turn to sawdust at Arthur's feet. Merlin replied by screaming "Cume boden", sending a spiral of whirlwind around Morgause. Luckily, this did not affect Arthur, Gwaine, Leon or Percival, but Lancelot was sucked in. Panicking, as he did not want to injure him, Merlin sent a bolt of lightning down into the whirlwind. Hoping for the best, he calmed the air, looking through the bushes to see if Lancelot had been hit. Morgause was lying, face down, with her clothes slowly burning. Her neck, and what you could see of her back, was covered in an ice like pattern. The lines were a deep red, and it seemed to spread from the middle of her spine, where the bolt most likely hit. They were like a plant's roots, spreading out, getting thinner and thinner until they stopped at the base of her chin. Merlin, satisfied that she was done for, was turning away when he heard Arthur shout. The knights were slowly recovering, picking themselves off of the floor and brushing themselves down, when they noticed that Lancelot was also on the floor; Morgause's eye flickered, Raging, Arthur ran at her, as she was so defenceless, and with one swift lunge he cut off her head, The others raced towards Lancelot, and turned him over, to face upwards. he was unmarked, and Merlin guessed he was just unconscious. He was about to aid the knights, when he realised he would have to have a valid excuse for being there. Searching frantically for a few moments, he tore a handful of Agrimony and walked into the clearing. "Merlin?" Arthur said sternly. "What in the kindgdom are you doing here?" "Oh!" Merlin tried his best at convincing him this was all coincidental. "I was just picking some Agrimony. Gaius needed some, and, well.. don't you think it is cheery? It's a lovely yellow colour, as you can see..." "Shut up Merlin." Arthur interrupted "and help me get Lancelot back to the castle. "Of course sir. What happened here?" He asked innocently, then turned to 'notice' Morgause. "Oh.. you, er, found the witch then?" "What does it look like cabbage head." Arthur was annoyed, angry that Merlin had not stayed in the castle. Walking over, dragging Lancelot with him, he hissed into Merlin's ear "Did I not tell you to stay in the castle? You gave me your word!" "Oh... well.. Oh yes! I remember now!" Merlin shot Arthur the simplest of smiles, and was secretly impressed with himself for fooling Arthur. As he sauntered off to get his horse, he realised something. Something he should have known before, He, along with Arthur, killed a High Priestess. And now they have a lot more than their own consciences weighing them down. The fate of all in Camelot was in peril. 


	8. Consequence

The knights made their way back to Camelot, shaken and weak, whilst Merlin trailed along behind. He was fed up. Fed up that he has put his life at risk for Camelot over and over, and they do not even notice. Fed up that one minute Arthur is treating him like a brother, a lover, and then a child. Fed up that the knights thought him incapable of doing anything useful, other than cook and clean. When they arrived at the castle, they dismounted their horses, and leaving them in the stable they all shouted "Merlin. See to them at once." Now he was seething. He had just killed their greatest threat, and his reward? Shovelling horse dung for hours. He walked back to his chambers, and opened the door. There was a woman standing there, she seemed worried, her eyes full of fear. Gaius was doing all he could to calm her, reassure her, but she stood and shivered. Seeing Merlin, she was angry. Her eyes went from scared to livid, her mouth was set in a thin line of disapproval. Throwing Gaius a concerned glance, he asked "And what in the name of the King is going on here?" The woman answered, throwing her hands up into the air. "You just don't know do you?" She thrust her hands onto her hips, looking Merlin straight in the eyes "Morgause." "No need to worry. She is dead. Most definitely dead." Merlin said, though instead of pride, he was filled with an instant sadness. "That is exactly what I mean." She hissed, as Gaius' eyes widened with the news. "You, along with your pathetic prince, have killed a High Priestess. A High Priestess, do you know the consequences of that?!" She drew closer to him. "Do you?" "B...but... well... no not really." Merlin tried to shrug it off, which infuriated her even more. "Camelot. That is the consequence. Camelot will pay the price." She said sharply, a tear rolled down her cheek. "Camelot will pay for what you have done." "What do you mean? I... I don't understand." Merlin's voice was shaky, his expression now full of questions. "No one knows what." She breathed. "That's why I came here, to not only warn you, but to see if Gaius could tell me something. Something positive." "And did he?" "Not so far, no." She nodded to him, who then took over. "This has only happened a few times, and this means that the consequence... is not known. Once, when High Priestess Mallae was slaughtered, the murderer's city was burnt to the ground, along with every person inside. When High Priestess Cillyn was beheaded, the murderer's family was raped and whipped, along with every woman within the city walls; by a hooded creature. The last time it something of this nature happened with a High Priestess was with Lortne, and she came back as a spirit and drove the whole city insane. So, as you can tell, the consequences are so obscure that we do not know ours." Gaius was unusually pale, he was also shaking. Merlin pushed past them both and slumped on his bed. Head in his hands, he swore. He swore until the woman screamed at him to stop, to clean his mouth out and apologise. "No." He said with simplicity, like a child who is being asked to do the same. "Why should I? I do not even know who the hell you are." "Auryn. My name is Auryn." She offered her hand to him, revealing the druid symbol which was branded on her wrist. "I saw... I saw what you did in a vision." "Well, Auryn, thank you for warning me. You can leave now." He said shortly, aggravated by her for some reason. "You don't know who I am, do you Emrys?" "Not in the slightest. And don't call me that. I am not him, not yet. I don't deserve that name." "You do." She said softly. "Yes, you have caused mass danger for every single life in Camelot..." "Oh yes. That." He spat. "... but Morgause would have caused much much more. Not just for Camelot, for cities all over." "Was that supposed to comfort me?" "Yes... I'm sorry, but I'm sure you would rather I warned you than I just left you suffer without the knowledge." "I'd rather go to the grave unaware that I am the one causing thousands to do the same, rather than go the grave knowing I did this." "Emrys.. Merlin. Look at me." She pleaded. Merlin looked up, into her deep brown eyes. "Auryn!" He said in mock surprise. "I have no more idea of who you are than I did before." "You disappoint me. Her eyes flicked gold, and she revealed a mass of symbols and engravings, covering her arms, legs and face, travelling down her neck. They glowed blue, she stretched her arms out, seeming to embrace whatever her symbols could do, and would do. "You... you ... still don't mean anything to me. Though that is some fancy lights you have got going on there." He said, circling her. Auryn's eyebrows knotted, she was confused. "You.. don't know who I am?" "Nope. I have made that pretty clear." "I am your cousin." "Impossible. Both my father and my mother were only children, I have no family. None whatsoever." "Your mother had a brother. He ran away from his family with my mother, Cillyn, when he was young. She had me, and then was slaughtered. Like you... like you slaughtered Morgause." "Your mother was Cillyn?" Gaius spoke now. "Yes. I am a High Priestess. Well, I would be." She sighed. "If I could keep control of my power, I would." "So the symbols are there to protect you?" "No, they are not here to protect me. They are here to protect you." 


	9. Sodomy

I am so so sorry for whatever has been going wrong recently! This is a re-update, and I promise to try my best to avoid whatever stupid things

keep happening! xx

...

"Brilliant. Great. So now the whole of Camelot is in peril, I've dug myself a messy grave and now you're telling me you can't control yourself?"

Merlin was pacing, his hair was up in all angles as he ran his hands through, thinking. "Just what I wanted. I'll add that to my tombstone."

"Merlin." Gaius was stern, he knew Merlin was slowly losing his temper.

"Look." Merlin drew closer to Auryn. "Can you just think? Think about what could happen? So we could somehow find a way to prevent it?"

"I will attempt to. But don't hope, cousin." She snarled, her symbols flaring.

"Oh... you... go and work in the kitchen."

Gaius sighed and walked away from them both, sick of such tension. He walked among his documents, seeking out information on Cillyn, Mallae

and Lortne.

Merlin sat heavily onto the bench, tapping his foot on the stone floor.

"Stop." Auryn spat, Merlin increased the speed.

"Both of you." Gaius was solemn.

"Gaius! Leave me in peace!" Merlin was outraged, outraged that he was only reprimanding him.

"Not that Merlin." Gaius explained. "i have found something. But it is not good. It helps, but not for our hope."

"Just tell us." Auryn snapped, receiving a glare from both of the men.

Gaius cleared his throat, securing three parchments onto the table using rocks. "The man who killed High Priestess Mallae was a Fisherman

turned Flesher, who made a living from smoking fish and meats. What better consequence than for his city to be burnt to the ground. The man

who killed Cillyn was fond of his women, coinciding with the fact every woman within the city walls was raped and whipped. The man who killed

Lortne was a Priest, discovered to have been obsessed with sacrificing humans to gods, believing they were among us in the flesh. As I told you

before, Lortne returned from the spirit world and drove the whole city to insanity."

"What does this mean for Camelot?" Auryn asked, she had lost most of her anger and annoyance.

"Something related to perhaps Arthur's hobbies, or someone he dearly loves will somehow be turned against us." Merlin's voice was hushed,

scared.

"Yes Merlin. It sounds like you seem to know something? Do you have a suggestion?"

"Yes... no.." He cleared his throat, thinking of the first thing he could. "Perhaps something related to Arthur's lust for hunting?"

Auryn, considering this as a possibility, left to gather up supplies as to search the forest for any upcoming dangers.

"There is something else, isn't there Merlin?"

"Not at all."

"You are particularly pathetic with deceiving Merlin, tell me what is troubling you."

"We both killed her. I don't know whether Arthur will be at fault, or whether I will be, or us both. I made the lightning strike, she would have

died anyway, though slower, and then Arthur cut off her head. Who will be at blame? Who will suffer? Who will be at blame for the suffering? In

every scenario the whole city has been affected. What will happen?"

"What do you feel will happen, it seems clear to me you have a half guess of some sort."

"Well, I suppose I do in some respects. I am worried that someone I love will be hurt, or that someone he loves will get hurt. Or both."

"Gwen?" Gaius asked, causing Merlin to snort.

"Of course not. He does not love Gwen."

"Have you not heard?" Gaius' voice was filled with pity.

"What? Just tell me."

"They are engaged."

"WHAT?!"

"You should be happy Merlin, as he is."

"WHAT?!" Merlin's stomach dropped as if filled with bricks, his head began to pound and his chest felt as though it were splitting. "I.. I don't

understand."

"Merlin, they have been courting for months, it is not news to the city."

"Well it is news to me." Merlin's voice was sharp, his tone dripping in anger.

"Do you think it will affect Gwen?"

"Excuse me?"

"The consequence." Gaius explained. "Do you think it is linked to Gwen at all?"

"No. Yes. No. I don't know. I thought it would affect.." He shook his head as if to rid him of such thoughts. "Never mind."

"You thought it would affect one another, didn't you?" Gaius' voice was pitiful once more.

"Of course not."

"Merlin. Were you two...?" He cleared his throat. "You know that is punishable by castration or even execution?"

"What are you referring to exactly?" Merlin's voice was so full of pain he did not seem to care in the slightest what Gaius had to say.

"You know. Sodomy? Does that ring a bell?" He shifted from foot to foot, awkward.

"Oh no! You think we... you think I... you think he... in me... and...my..." Merlin was hysterical. "No, nothing of the sort. Not at all... no. I'm

already aware he is a complete parsnip, I am not interested in seeing or feeling his." He attempted to through Gaius' concerns of with a joke,

though it was half-hearted.

"Merlin..."

"Gaius. Please. I would never. And anyhow, surely the fact our precious prince has got himself engaged would show there was never nothing

between us, and never will be. It is obvious he doesn't love me, so leave me be." He spat.

"Merlin?" Arthur opened the door, troubled.

"What do you want?" He snapped.

"It's the King." Arthur gulped. "He has been hit by a plague."

"Arthur, do not go near him. Merlin and I will attempt to find a remedy, a cure, something to aid him; in the mean time stay clear of your father."

Gaius commanded, sending him away.

"Do you think this is it?" Merlin whispered as Gaius gathered bottle from shelves, separated leaves from stalks, flowers from stems.

"I do not know." Gaius wondered. "How is this related to either of you? Neither of you have anything to do with plague or sickness."

"Gaius..?"

"Yes Merlin?"

"What am I doing now then? I help the sick, do I not. You are the Court Physician, I your assistant. We cure and we heal. What better to do

than to strike the city down with something neither of us can prevent."

...

In case you we unaware of the meaning, Sodomy means the act of homosexuality, though in those times also meant heterosexual anal sex and

any other acts considered sinful or against nature (i.e the woman being on top during intercourse...etc.). I used this word as in these times,

'homosexuality' was not a term used.


	10. Dochraid

"No one made any suggestion that any one else has been hit by such a plague."

"It does not take long to spread. It is like wildfire, I know that myself Gaius." He took a deep breath "he said.. Arthur said it was plague. Plague

Gaius."

"Please. You displayed a worry that Arthur would be affected, and he has not been."

"You have one very, very minor error."

"What is it Merlin?"

"Arthur. We told him not to visit his father."

"I don't understand you."

"We do live in the same castle as each other, am I correct?"

"Merlin. Please just simply tell me what you mean."

"He will have gone to the king."

"You mean to say he is dumb enough to go against our wishes?"

"Finally!" Merlin brought his hands up into the air in a mock praise "Yes. Now can we go and stop him?"

"I'm too old for running Merlin, you know that."

Merlin grinned at Gaius as he patted his stomach, and then headed off to find Arthur.

He tried the King's chamber first.

For the first time, he found Arthur on the first attempt.

"Arthur!" He sighed "get away from him!"

Arthur turned.

His face was filled with tears, yet for some horrific reason the tear tracks steamed and hissed.

"It hurts." He cried like a child, causing more and more tears to fall. "Merlin. It hurts."

"Come with me." He screeched, grabbing his sleeve and pulling him to Gaius' chamber; he threw him down onto the table, clearing it of bottles

and documents.

"Merlin! What in the name of Camelot was that fo..." He saw Arthur's state and rushed over to the table side. "What is that?"

"How do I have any idea! Check something, some piece of paper somewhere will have something! Just go! Go now!" He shouted, his face

flushing red and his ears also.

Gaius raised his eyebrows though carried out Merlin's command.

"Arthur? Arthur?" He cupped his face in his hands, it was hot and where the tears fell on his skin burned. "Speak. Say something. Say anything!"

"It hurts." He murmured, his eyes rolling as his eyelids dropped.

"Gaius!" Merlin screamed at the top of his voice "help me!"

"I cannot find a thing!" He retorted "nothing in any spell, in any document, in any book. Nothing."

"Is there not one person that could help? Somewhere? Arthur has friends, surely other kingdoms would help.."

"The King has created more enemies than friends, you out of anyone should know that Merlin. Yes, surely in other kingdoms there will be

someone who can help, but I doubt his situation would improve if you left to go galavanting off to the neighbours and crossing your fingers for a

witch or warlock, the chances of finding one alive is unlikely.." He paused, in thought.

"What is it?"

"Dochraid."

"Bless you."

"No, Dochraid. She would be the only one able to even fathom an idea to stop whatever is happening to Arthur.." He gestured to the prince

who was now convulsing, with blisters and welts across his cheeks. "You need to go to her, I will stay with Arthur and try to calm the symptoms

down."

"So I just stroll in and ask her?"

"A little more complicated than that I am afraid. She will require something.."

"An object, as a use of payment?"

"Not necessarily. She knows what she requires, and will not give away her knowledge until you give it to her. This can be knowledge, emotion,

an object, or even pain."

Merlin was silent, causing Gaius to raise one eyebrow - he knew exactly what Merlin was thinking.

"Are you going to tell me the truth about you and... "

"No. Yes. There is nothing to tell. He is the Prince, my boss and I his servant. There is nothing to tell." He said this too quickly, too script-like.

Gaius continued to keep one eyebrow raised whilst Merlin's face turned from red to purple.

"You need to banish what ever feeling you have for him. Surely you know nothing can ever come of it? He will be king one day, no kingdom will

gladly take two kings. Gwen is perfect for him. Whatever you think, he does not love you. He cannot love you. He must not love you. You need

to ensure, not for your emotions but for the safety of Camelot, that you pursue Dochraid. She will know whether the King is under a spell or

whether he is just ill of age, and she will know whether Arthur can be saved. Remember Merlin, do it for your duty and for friendship and for the

kingdom of Camelot. Not for your own selfish and wasted emotion."

"Merlin?" Arthur rolled over, his eyes opening a fraction. He murmured something inaudible and fell back into his slumber.

"The emotion is not wasted." He hissed into Gaius' ear to ensure Arthur could not hear "it is not wasted. I will do this for Camelot, yes. I will do

this for friendship, yes. I will do this as it is my duty, yes. But I will also do this for Arthur. And myself."


	11. Nothing to be done

Merlin raced around his chamber, collecting a mixture of items which included a dagger, a document on Dochraid and a flask of water.

"Will you do something for me?"

Merlin grunted in a reply.

"You need to swear to me you will look after yourself, Merlin." Gaius pleaded through the silence that had loomed over them both in anticipation.

"If I must." He sighed. "I swear to you, Gaius, that I will look after myself, is that enough?" He turned and walked through the door, stopping

momentarily to look over his shoulder at the Prince who was stirring. "Swear to me you will look after Arthur." He whispered.

"I swear." Gaius nodded him, sending him away with a small shooing gesture.

Merlin crept into the stable and mounted his horse, only to be promptly stopped by Lancelot, who was standing alongside Auryn.

"Auryn." Merlin snapped. "You were supposed to be gathering supplies, do I remember correctly?" He raised his eyebrows at the two, who were

blushing furious shades of scarlet and quite plainly thinking of an excuse or reason to be together.

"Yes.. well... of course." She stumbled over her words as if her tongue had been caught with wires.

"She stopped to talk to me." Lancelot said quickly, earning himself a thankful gaze from her.

"Wow. Brilliant. Just... we have more important things to worry about, don't we dear cousin?" Merlin's voice was sickly sweet.

"There is no need to say it like such, Merlin. I know you two are related already. Plus, the looks are uncannily similar."

"Insult or complement, I do not wish to know." He sighed. "Just concentrate on saving the city, is that easy enough for you?" Auryn nodded in

reply, as did Lancelot. "You go for less than a moment and you have already told Lancelot everything?! How did you know he even knew I was

magic? Or you were? You could have got us both killed!" Merlin raged, his cheeks flaming also. "Just get on with what needs to be done. We

have not only a Prince and a King to save, but potentially a whole kingdom also." With that Merlin rode on, kicking dust into the two's faces.

He rode over hill after hill, through forest after forest. But he could fathom no idea of where to find Dochraid.

"Breathe Merlin, breathe." He attempted to soothe his agitated state, after all his breathing had become erratic as his fear and anxiety grew.

"You just need to.. breathe." He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply over and over.

Upon opening them, he saw a tree in the distance, ,which he had not noticed before.

Its branches were dark and they spread into the sky, bare and looming over all surrounding it. At the very same time it seemed as graceful as a

young lily flower yet was as terrifying as a thunder storm. The trunk was thick and wide, the bark damp and grey, riddled with age.

As he neared the tree, the ground grew dry, Merlin could hear the horse's hooves crush the grass underfoot.

The sky grew black and gloomy, the air still and silent. Fog appeared, blinding Merlin for a few seconds, until it disappeared and Merlin could see

clearer than before. His head light and blank, he stared, gormless, at the tree before regaining his senses.

A small opening at the base of the tree trunk had revealed itself; the bark had been stripped back, displaying a small cave-like hole.

Jumping off of his horse, he headed for the door before spinning on his heels to head in the opposite direction.

"Cabbage." He grimaced, remembering a passage in the document. "Bloody Dragoon the Great." He rummaged around in his satchel to find a

small vial of powder.

Taking a pinch and cursing himself for not doing this in the castle where a cauldron could be used, he chanted

"Miht dagan, bebecce me, Adeadab bisne gast min freondum ond min feondum."

The white powder exploded and he transformed into the old man he had hoped he must never become again.

Taking each step slowly, he entered Dochraid's dwelling.

"Emrys." She snarled. "There is nothing to be done. Arthur, along with Camelot soon after, is doomed."

Merlin stopped still, his blood running cold.


End file.
